(Belated) NBA Finals Tip Off

My apologies to our Senior Sporting Correspondent, Andrew Hauch. This post should have gone up this past Thursday, June 5th. He had it to me with plenty of time, the fault here lies with the editor. Wont happen again.

By: "Sports Guy" Drewsky

Tonight marks Game 1 of the 2007-2008 NBA Finals featuring the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics!! Review that statement for several seconds and let it sauté in your mind! Yes friends, a match up so immersed in history's record books, it will undoubtedly make for an entertaining final. And why not? Since recent NBA Finals ratings have been deep in the bowels of toilets all across America (thank you San Antonio), this renewed rivalry can be nothing but a ratings grabber/entertaining. Watching Ginobili's incredible honker flutter in the wind followed by the inevitable flop to draw a foul was the most entertaining aspect of recent finals (lol). Sorry for the flat-out digression, however, the thought of the Lakers-Celtics final reminds me of the incredible rivalries of the past…Elgin Baylor, Jerry West, and Wilt Chamberlain's Lakers taking on Bob Cousy, John Havlicek, and Bill Russell's Celtics. Boston had a stranglehold on this era (1957-1969), producing 11 Championships in 13 years (that's what I call a legit dynasty) with Coach Red Auerbach at the helm.

This rivalry would be renewed during the Bird-Magic era. This time however, it would be the Lakers turn to hold the trophy. During the 80's, the Lakers under the tandem of Magic Johnson and all-time scoring leader Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, would go on to win the coveted title of NBA champs 5 out of 8 years. Two of these titles came against the Boston Hall-of-Fame trifecta of Bird, Robert Parrish, and Kevin McHale.

During the playoff season every year, ESPN shows many of the championship campaigns for each team, and I'll be damned if I didn't skip out on a few classes to watch these rivalries (sorry Dr. Barnes–I've loved all of your classes ). Many of them were fantastic, showing late-game heroics by the likes of Bird and Magic, just to name a few.

One thing is for certain…you could ask a lady in Uzbekistan to say everything she knows about hoops, and she would probably mention that Michael Jordan was an absolute man-child, and the Lakers and Celtics had a huge rivalry.

To put it into perspective, the Lakers and Celtics franchises have combined to triumph in 30 of 61 NBA finals since the NBA-ABA merger. That is absolutely staggering. This year marks the 11th time the teams will do battle for the title (with Boston being victorious 8 of 10 prior).

The paths of tonight's NBA Finals participants have been dramatic. The Celtics came into this season as the worst team in the Eastern Conference. However, GM Danny Ainge, the main architect in this season's historic run, gave up an arm and a leg to acquire Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett during the off season. Heavily criticized at first, this move has paid off in the long run, as the Celtics completed the year possessing a league-leading 66 wins and their first NBA Finals berth since '87. Also, neither of the aforementioned players, in addition to team captain Paul Pierce, have ever been to the Finals. Therefore, expect the primal instinct to come out in these cats. Bravo Danny Ainge!

For the Lakers, it's been a wild ride as well. Almost exactly a year ago, Kobe demanded a trade out of LA. He has been incredibly unhappy in recent years, primarily because his team has either not made it to the playoffs, or got owned in the first round. Of course, he's selfish, but the kid can ball. Although he had scuffles with Andrew Bynum early in the season, the Lakers were winning, silencing Kobe. Shortly afterward, Bynum went down with a season-ending knee injury. Following this setback, the Lakers were destined to be an afterthought in the competitive Western Conference this year (Seeds 1-8 only separated by 7 games) until the landmark trade for Spaniard Pau Gasol. Mind you this trade was an absolute steal. The Lakers obtained Gasol from the Grizzlies for a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, a Pez dispenser, and a 9-iron. And since then, the Lakers have mopped the floor with team after team. Kobe started believing in his young teammates, and became MVP of the league for the first time. The Lakers are looking like a well-oiled machine going into the Finals.

Although Boston has had their fair share of inconsistencies this post season, expect big games from the Big 3. However, I find it hard to count out Kobe (the greatest player and closer in the game since Michael Jordan's retirement–in my own personal opinion). Kobe's playing lights out, Garnett/Gasol/Pierce have played well, and Ray Allen has gotten his confidence and shot back. Watch for Lamar Odom and the bench from LA, as they will be X-factors in the series. Additionally, I believe the inexperience, inconsistency, and lack of killer instinct will be Boston's undoing. They lack a player who is willing to take control in key situations of the game. Paul Pierce resembles the closest thing they have to this, however, he can't hold a candle to Kobe's closing ability.

It will be hard to top the intensity of their past rivalry, but this series has a lot of potential. I hope fans will finally be in for a treat after several years of lackluster finals. This is what dreams are made of!

To generate a little buzz, I'm predicting Lakers in 6.

Cheers,

Drewsky

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Chalk up a W for Mixed Martial Arts

And in this corner, weighing in at a verbose 175 lbs, hailing from League City, TX, StifledMind's Senior Sporting Correspondent, Andrew "Armbar" Hauch!

Saturday, May 31st, 2008...

A day in which the uber-fast rising sport known as mixed martial arts officially declared the sweet science of boxing dead. The CBS network slotted the 2-hour EliteXC MMA event during primetime instead of sleazy reruns of "How I Met Your Mother". Being a huge MMA fan for quite some time, I cannot express how much the sport has changed. I started watching the UFC back around '97 by going to Blockbuster and renting all of the early pay-per-view events. As a strapping young 8th grader armed with a pizza face, acne, and a subtle awkwardness toward the opposite sex, it is needless to say I was an angsty lad. What better way to fulfill that testosterone-driven need for competition and arse beating than to watch a sport in which practically anything goes and blood splattering was a normal occurrence? Back in those days, the UFC was a fledgling fighting federation with minimal rules (no eye gouges, fish hooks, or manland hits allowed) and not much direction. Additionally, bouts were bare-knuckle and one could punt the face of an opponent on all fours. Also, no weight classes were imposed which was unfair as all get out, yet hilarious to watch. I'll never forget UFC 8: "David Vs Goliath" in which immediately after the bell rang, a little tiny toon fighter superman punched and flat out KO'd a guy outweighing him by many buffet dinners (like 200 lbs). Talk about awesome! The trifecta of Royce Gracie, Dan "The Beast" Severn and Ken Shamrock (THE pioneers of the sport whom allowed the UFC to hang around--this before of course the latter two killed street cred by delving into laughable WWF careers) would impose their will on helpless legions of slapdick opponents in small arenas with 1,500 onlookers. Fortunately for spectators, several things were changed after the Shamrock Vs. Gracie bout at UFC 5 in which Sham was in Gracie's guard for most of the 36 minute fight (yeah lame). At this point, if fighters were not attempting to advance their position, the fighters would be stood up again, a decision utilized heavily to this day. Also, soon afterwards electrifying fighters such as two of my all-time, Vitor Belfort and Chuck Liddell, entered the fray and added the "wow" factor to the sport. Belfort's victory over Wanderlei Silva at UFC: Ultimate Brazil was pure art how he could throw 30 punches in 5 seconds. lol The UFC's popularity was growing but had not yet hit the mainstream.


Fast forward to 2004, and we witness UFC head hanchos Dana White and the Fertitta brothers releasing a reality show entitled "The Ultimate FIghter" which singlehandedly brought MMA to the masses. This show consisted of 16 up-and-coming MMA fighters in a mansion all vying for a $100,000 UFC contract and instant credibility. It seemed like I couldn't go anywhere without
eavesdropping on garden-variety troglodytes discussing Team Liddell's Victory over Team Couture on Thursday night. I personally loved that show and it was always fun to keep tabs on the antics of Chris Leben, Josh Koschek, and Forest Griffin. They are now running the 7th season of the hit show and each of them have been fun to watch. The vision of the aforementioned UFC entrepreneurs to release this show was without a doubt the greatest thing that happened to MMA.

Last night only solidified the notion that MMA is here for the long haul. Overall it was a great night for MMA since it lacked neverending, lametown fights. Nearly all of them ended with a KO or TKO due to strikes. I'm sure that's exactly how the promoters wanted it. It even showed Gladiator "Crush" wailing on another girl so hard her eye nearly swelled shut. Not going to lie, that fight was downright arousing! What really sucked about last night was the Middleweight title bout. In the 3rd round, champion Robbie Lawler dug his fingers into challenger Scott Smith's right eye, then proceeded to do his taxes and bake cookies before removing them (Ok so that was a monstrous hyperbole, but you catch my drift). The house Doctor dubbed Smith incapable of fighting and his possible championship-winning campaign was shattered. This angered me since this entertaining bout gone wrong seemed like a total set back for the event.

And now for the main event of the evening (drumroll please)........
Kimbo Slice vs. James Thompson.

I wouldn't want my enemies to fight either of these big dumb animals. The first thing noticeable when the fighters made their appearances was the hematoma in Thompson's left ear that was the size of the tri-state area! My friends and I instantly thought "I can't wait until Kimbo explodes his ear!" lol It seriously did look like a Chicken Pot Pie was lodged in his ear! As commentator Spanky Rodriguez so eloquently dubbed it, "the alien life form that is Thompson's ear". This of course after he made a comparison of Kimbo Slice to Tiger Woods (who hired this guy?). Sorry, I digress, we all know Kimbo's story; a backyard brawler from youtube who DERAILED all but one of his thug opponents. The guy is a total freak of nature and new MMA posterboy. He has brought much attention to himself and the sport. Trained by world renowned pancrase legend Bas Rutten, Slice can learn a vast array of knowledge and possibly become a phenomenal all-around fighter. Last night's fight with Thompson had Kimbo pushed to the limit. His cardio was lacking and he nearly lost the fight at the end of the second round (if Thompson had good cardio himself, he probably could have ended the fight here instead of throwing dainty elbows and rabbit punches). This fight showed Thompson being the victor of the first two rounds due to take-downs and ground and pound, however it came at a cost. Thompson got wailed on several times per round in which any normal fighter not cracked out would have gone down. Thompson had an iron chin and brass scones. However, the third round was all Kimbo. He bounced back well from being nearly motionless at the end of the 2nd. Much to our viewing pleasure, Kimbo landed a vicious combination that exploded Thompson's ear and left him seeing stars for the victory. This marked the first time in which Kimbo had to use all facets of his MMA game. He fared decently in the first round with the ground game, but he looked horrible in the second. He is very vulnerable on the ground when his cardio is lacking. All-in-all, he looked fairly impressive with the exception of the cardio and ground game. But now that he has experienced that and been pushed to the limit, I expect him to hone this facet of his game and possibly become a dominant MMA fighter.

Chalk it up for MMA!

In closing, many things have changed in this crazy world. I don't have a pizza face or braces anymore, and even some girls find me cute and pleasant fortunately. But what certainly hasn't changed is my love for mixed martial arts.

Cheers,
Drewsky

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